This isn’t really about travel, unless we’re talking metaphorically, which I so often do.
Travelling through this world along the road of life...
Wow that IS a bad metaphor, but make it to the end and you’ll get what I'm on about.
Human relationships can be tough.
For a species that has evolved as pack animals, we sometimes have a hard time connecting with our fellow human beings.
The trouble can be that we become so wrapped up in ourselves that we often give others little, or no, consideration.
If I have learned anything in my time on this planet it is that, in a romantic relationship, this is probably the cause of most, if not all, problems.
I have been married for three years today. Three years since we both said “I will” on a beach in South Cottesloe. Three years of pretty happy marriage.
Amie and I had been together for nearly five years before that, so there had been a fair amount of time to work out the kinks before we eventually tied the knot.
Slow movers, yes we are.
It was a conscious decision, though, not to rush into the wedding once we had made the decision to get married from a financial, as well as logistical, point of view.
But, to be honest, the main reason was I just wanted to enjoy being engaged.
It is quite easy to get so caught up trying to get where we want to go that we don’t appreciate or enjoy the journey. This was a journey that I wanted to savour.
Only the first of course, we are now on a different one. Or perhaps not. It doesn’t really feel that different. Our answer to the innumerable question from people asking “how does it feel” once we had finally tied the knot was always, inevitabley, “the same”.
To me, this meant it had been the right thing to do.
We felt the same way about each other whether we had rings on our fingers or not. The formality hadn’t changed anything. We were the same people and were together for the same reasons.
It may sound trite, but I never really had any doubts. I’m not sure I believe in destiny, or love at first sight, or the existence of “the one”.
All I know is I found in my wife someone I care for more than myself, whose wellbeing means more to me than my own, and that I had no trouble deciding to spend the rest of my life with.
Seriously, the decision was so easy that it didn’t really seem like a decision at all.
And for some reason, she seems to feel the same way about me.
It has been a learning process for both of us, no question. We let things go that irritate us about each other now that we perhaps didn’t early on.
I know I do things that make my wife want to throttle me but she holds back, bless her, for the sake of our relationship. And to stay on the right side of the law.
We do it because we know each other well enough now to know that, whatever the other person has done, they have earned the benefit of the doubt. We have built up enough trust and knowledge of each other to have faith in this fact. We’ve worked each other out up until now, and will continue to do so.
The working out is the fun bit. Well, one of the fun bits. There is lot’s of fun to be had.
If anyone wants my advice, here it is – listen. It’s the most important skill you can learn. Listen with an open mind and prepare for yours o be changed.
So then, to my wife:
Amie, I love you more now than I ever have. I love you for your humour, your understanding, your grace, your intelligence and the knack you have for looking after me in the best possible way.
You continue to surprise me, confound me, excite me and motivate me.
I cannot imagine a life without you, I don’t want to.
I love you babe.